Beautiful Sendang Biru, Malang

Throwback to our first beach vacation, beautiful beach in Sendang Biru, Malang.

Husband was super lovely, he took care and was very protective of me during the trip. I'm lucky.

Looking forward to our next trip! :)

For What You Deserve

"Never... never allow your self to be so desperate that you end up settling for far less than what you actually deserve."

Anonymous, to me. 

This Shall Too Pass

"When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer. Trust Allah today no matter how dark your situation. Untill Allah says, "You are coming out!""

These days seem hard, but somehow this shall too pass. :)

NB The patient with ca cervix and DVT I told you in previous post, passed away few days ago, at her home. I wish her a peaceful eternal rest. You'll be missed, Mam. Al-fatihah..

Be Kind

Remember a patient with Ca cervix and Deep Vein Thrombosis I told you in my last post?
She sent us lunch boxes. Yummy nasi kuning (yellow Indonesian rice) and grilled chicken! Happy!

What new about me is.. I cut my hair off. I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off of my shoulders. At first I wanted to keep my hair long and curly, like pretty Korean actress Park Shin Hye, but then I realized my workplace didn't support me with those hairstyle. It's pretty hot in Cardiology ward, so it will be quite difficult to keep the long curly hair and make it last. So I finally had the gut to cut it, and voila! New me with short-bob hair. :)

Just in few months being a resident, I learnt to be more patient and kind. Sometimes it got me on my nerve when someone rudely spoke to me. Meeting mean people I might dislike but still I have to be nice is challenging. It's not called with two-faced, but it's more like being mature, dealing with all the rudeness and approaching situation calmly. Most of times, I moved on and just restored my sanity by banishing this kind of person from my thoughts. Still, how people could be able to say such harmful words to others is beyond me. Making fun of others about their limitations has never been funny.

"There is enough pain in this world, it does not need anymore suffering. Be kind."

So there, be kind. Good night.

Happy 4th of July

Today is my favorite day...because today is my birthday. ;)

This sweetest wishes started my day: Short-duration video of how my boyfriend making his own birthday wishes. Enjoy! :)

 

Sara Bareilles - I choose you as backsound

At first, eventhough he already apologized for many, many times, I felt lil bit disappointed that he couldn't sing happy birthday song directly in front of me. But when I saw this video, I forgave him for not being beside me, on 12 am of July 4th. This little surprise is more than enough, right? :)

Few hours later after sahur, I went to hospital to attend MKDU class. I had been struggling so hard to survive. Beside feeling sleepy after having video call with him until late night, I had been feeling unwell. My throat badly hurts. I lost my voice the day before and had slight fever (which I diagnosed my self having annoying acute pharyngitis) that made me really, really wanted to skip class. But thank God, I survived.

I'd been in bed all day because this sore throat, coughing and headache. Believe it or not, I took a nap for...mmm..about...5 hours? :/

Still feeling (lil bit..really, just a lil bit) disappointed for not-coming-home boyfriend, I woke up and went downstairs to living room. There, I found my lovely and beloved little sister brought me birthday present. She got me a backpack which is just similar to hers (which I gave her on her birthday), but in different colour, in my favorite colour. She's such a sweet that she wants me to wear the same backpack as hers so we look like twins. My little sister. :)

My little sister, Akiko, whom I had infected same virus to, so we both caught flu.

Thank you for not putting candles of number on my birthday cake. Hahahahahahaha. 

Love you dedeeek...

I had iftar (break-fasting) dinner at a restaurant in middle of town. I was enjoying my chicken corn soup when I saw this cute little girl..not..this cute mommy carrying cuter daugther in her arms. Thank you baby Cinta for coming to celebrate!

Emma and her daughter, Cinta. Emma is my best friend since first day of college. I'd seen her ups and downs, and I'm happy to see her now surrounded by happiness. Let's make wish together, baby Cinta!

And when I got home.... Look who's been there! :)

It's undescribable feeling that you've been longing for someone and Boom, he is here. The one who stand up with me since beginning. Thank you for still wanting me eventhough I'm that uneasy to deal with. I'm grateful for yout ability to compete my Alay-ness. :p You're the sunshine in my sky, you're the rainbow after the hard rain, and you're the silver lining in darkest cloud. (Cie....) Your availability for 24 hours means a lot to me. You always tell to dream high, but never forget to remind me to work hard(er than anyone else) to achieve it. To help me to close my eyes from what I don't want to see, to close my ears from what I don't want to hear. You, just like papa, always tell me to give more to others, to help more without expecting anything in return. To always keep me away from cruel heart. Thank you for being such a sweet and reliable boyfriend anyone could ask for. :) 

His suprises never fail.  Thank you for putting extra effort to make my birthday more special. 

Pooh you! :)

He took a day off from work and came home to succeed my birthday surprise. I know, I'm a lucky girl. :) At first he had told me that he couldn't take days off to come home, but he is just being him, if he told me that he would come, it won't be a surprise. Don't be worry, I already forgive your lie this time. :p

And this is my birthday gift from him. He even consulted with a cardiology chief resident what type of stethoscope that suitable for (new) resident. Thank you dear, may with this new tool, I can learn better. Amiin! 

Guess which type it is! :)

Also, I want to say my biggest thank you(s) to all my bestfriends who congratulate me in such a sweet way. May all the good wishes go to you as well!

Dear Olivia, I know you are bored to hear this, but let me say again, I love you to the back and bones, thank you for always being there, for not judging me and talking behind my back, and thank you for always being whom I can trust. With you, I learn to tolerate differences. I think we should show world how to live a life and make peace: that eventhough we're different, we can make best friendship works. 

Hey soul sister from another mother! I have no words to explain how fortunate I am to have you, especially when I felt homesick during internship year. I love to listen to your stories, and I miss those quality time we had, just another chit chat times. Just remember that I will be always here, next to you, to help you deal with all the uncertainties and make peace with it. I love you Cwike!

Hi my fave pediatrician soon-to-be! She's the one who taught me that boiled broccoli tastes (unexpectedly) pretty good. :p Thank you berry, berry much for your warm welcome. Thank you for being a good listener. Next meet up is a must!

Dearest Agit, my partner in achieving dream. This time we might not make it together, but someday, just like what I've been always believing in, we will make our dreams come true. You have always been such a source of support for me and I hope to offer the same in return. I am looking forward to our new partnership. Let's bring this to higher level! 

I also want to thank you for all the sweet birthday wishes that can't be mentioned one by one here. But I'll try to make photo collage of the wishes. Thank you everyone, the same wishes go to you as well. :)

"Bismillahirrohmanirrohim, dear Allah, I praise and thank You for all the blessings that You showered upon me. Thank You for giving me this life. Thank You for the best parents, Mama and Papa, and please bless them with good health, happiness, and prosperity. Thank You for my lovely little sister, may succees follow her, attend her efforts. I'm thankful for a warm house and loving family. Thank You Allah for sweet, awesome and encouraging boyfriend, please bless him with greater success and shower him with happiness. Thank You for giving me best friends, my life has been much better when they're near. May all their dreams come true.

Thank You dear Allah for choosing me...to live this beautiful life."

Because Writing is One of Best Relievers

Life's been so busy these days.... Between shifts, ATLS preparations, case report presentation, and keeping up the good balance of both mental and health balance, you know, is not easy as it seems ;p
How are you dear readers? Like it's been years since my last 'worth to read' post... But I'm glad you stay keeping up with me through this blog. Actually I was on the writer...no, blogger block attack yesterdays, and I have been trying hard to overcome it. Few days ago, surprisingly, two of my juniors (Have I told you that I always accompanied by co-assisstants from UII when working shift?), two cute girls with high curiousity, asked me why I've not been updating my blog for quite long time. They regularly read this blog. That's why I am now sitting in front of here, writing something good to read, something good enough to inspire anyone, as good as I can, hopefully. :)

This year I loved but also I lost, I made mistakes but I also tried to make up for it, yes, this year I learned a lot... I learned that love is temporary, but true love is eternal. I learned that crush will fade pretty fast, that it will not last forever. But love grows, and it gives you comfort and shelter. A nice place to hide from all storms. I learned that love will not cut you off and let you do the missing, waiting, hoping and worrying. The one who loves you dearly will not leave you in the darkness alone. Instead, they will be a good accompany through good times and bad times, no matter if distances pull you apart. The one who loves you will never leave you in any case. Even if there are hundred reasons to give up, they will find one reason to hold on. They will always come back. Like what Kahlil Gibran said, "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." 

Loving someone even with their worst faults and flaws, forgiving and forgetting their wrong doings.. is hard, but to find the one who's able to do that for you is even harder. I really hope I've found that someone. But if I haven't yet, please help him find me, help him find his way back to me, dear Allah. :)

NB: Because a guy who eats your cooking (even it turns out to be awful one), and who appreciates your gifts and wears it with excitement (even maybe he doesn't like the gifts actually) is difficult to find. :')

"I'll take your bad days with your good,

walk through this storm I would,

I'd do it all because I love you,

I will love you unconditionally.."

Katy Perry - Unconditionally, been on repeat all day. :)

What I Learned Today

"I met my senior in this sympo, and to me, he spoke out about his resignation. He was once general surgery resident and I'd always thought he made wrong decision by giving up on the chance that dreamt by every general practitioner; being a resident. Today, I know the reasons behind his big decision and I wholeheartedly respect him for that: his father's been seriously ill and he had to earn money for his family. There was one or two things I learned, to not judge anyone without knowing the whole stories, and to be kind to anyone because... Everyone is fighting their own battles." 

Recent Updates

Been awhile since my last post. So readers, how's life been?

I wrote this post while I was working a night shift at emergency room. You must already been cuddling inside your warm blanket at this hour. Sleep heavenly tight then. Please do read this post tomorrow morning. :)

I enjoy my shifts actually, except the part of seeing death and delivering bad news to family of patient. The hardest part is to stay calm when emergency patients come, to stay sympathy when one patient gone, to keep everything fine in line. Learning the art of medicine has never been easy so far, yet when we're able to create beautiful creatures, which means here patients that get better, all your hard work and sleepless night are paid off. Trust me, nothing beats the thankful sayings from patients; the smiles they give after you say "Stay strong Mam, you'll be okay."

Ah iya, we luckily got accompanied by co assistant from UII. I see so much difference between co assistants in Unair and them (yes, the term "Young doctor" is definitely wrong. Colleagues from abroad never use that term for medical residents or co assistants.) 

One day, I knew one of them reading medical physiology book. "I'm re-reading about cell mitosis phases, so I easier can understand how chemotherapy works," he said, when I asked him why he's been so serious focusing on a book. And his answer got me wowed. 

Another time, I got patient with Non Hodgkin Lymphoma referred to our hospital. This patient actually had routinely checked and already got chemotherapy from Soetomo General Hospital (FYI, previous hospital where I worked before), and he referred to our small hospital because he wanted to move back to his hometown, to be near his family. From Soetomo, he brought results of laboratory examinations that not available in Soeroto, and this co assistant, curiously asked me "Why did they examine this? *Pointing out to result of LDH examination*" 

That what makes us different from them. The curiousity levels. :)

Well then I learned a lot from them. Medicine requires long life study that we must not stop at some point. To feel desire for updates, no satisfaction. That's the path we chose living in. May you enjoy yours, dear fellow clinician! :)

NB: About love life? Please skip the questions! 

Picking Up The Break Up Lines

Be Proud, Doc :)

Last night, I had sleepless night shift. Amount of patients admitted to emergency room of Puskesmas, causing me and two nurses lacked of sleep. Every thirty minutes or one hour one patient came, asking for the medications. Me, with half eyes opened, tried my best to give the examinations and treatments that able to be given in a small health centre. But this, there was one patients stole my attention a lot. 

He was admitted in the early morning, when the sun began to rise, well about 5 or 6 at the morning. I was finishing the medical record of patients before him, and suddenly he came to emergency room 'carried' by 3 or 4 people, and from the far I saw him unconscious and well... not breathing. I run to him, and asking for the Ambu bag and adrenalin injection to nurses. No radial, brachial and carotic pulse palpated at first, then I finally got the pulse palpated, very weak pulse. I thought that was a DOA (Death on Arrival), and be ready to deliver the bad news to the family. I called the patient's name, trying to examine the conscious state of him. No eye opening. No response to pain stimulus. Until I came to the conclusion he had severe brain injury, he was unable to take a deep breath, gasping for air. I could only give oxygen mask,  and massive fluid infusion, and no mayo provided in health centre. I thought he was in poor yet stable condition until I saw him... Stop breathing.

Fast, I called for the help to assist the Ambu bag, found my way to get the plastic chair closer, climbed up to it and started giving CPR. I aggresively gave the intravenous fluids the due to the very weak carotic pulse. and unmeasured blood pressure. 5 minutes at firts, we got no response from patients. I examined his eyes, myosis at left and midriasis at right one. As long as the both sides didn't show maximum midriasis, I thought we still had a hope, then I continued giving CPR for 15 more. 

And finally I saw him coughing... and I could palpate his radial pulse. Strong enough. He regained ROSC. :)

That indescribable feeling came after. Be proud, doc, you all have the ability to provide the best medical treatments, to save one's life. No need to listen to those harassment and bullying, to those direspectful behaviours people show you about your profession. Go. Your patients need it. :)

How to save a life - Grey's Anatomy casts

Shortcut to Bali

Sunny Sunday and we planned to go on a picnic! :D

Candi Cetho (Cetho Temple) had been decided to be our next short trip destination. This temple is located on western slope of Mount Lawu (on the previous post, we visited Sarangan lake, which located on southern slope of the same mountain :D), on the border between central and east Java provinces. One hour needed to get there from our beloved boarding house in Ngrambe. The journey to this temple is challenging and arouses adrenaline,the road went up and downs, but all the anxiety, dizziness, feeling of unwell are paid off with the breaktaking scenery! Green everywhere, you can see the beautiful tea garden on both right and left side, love! <3 p="">

Don't ask for lunch. We again had satay! 

A high gate standing elegantly under the sky brought our memoris to the temple's gates in Bali, the God's island. That's why I named this post "Shortcut to Bali", the atmosphere here simply reminded us to that beautiful island. You must agree with me, no? ;)

In Javanese language, Cetho means clear or pure. As a place to worship the Siva God, this temple is decorated with a phallus statuse statue as a symbol of Siva. Fyi, phallus is statue which has penis look-alike. The main bulding is trapezoid shaped, located on the highest terrace of the land. Until now, this temple is still used by Hindu societies here for a worshiop ritual place. They put ritual sesajen (offerings) on the statue. When we were there being amazed with the scenery, the fog came down from the hills covering the temple area. 

And near the temple, there's a pura up on the hill, named Pura Kalisodo. :D

To sum up today, It was fun! And the trip was totally worth it! 

Looking forward to another trip! Who knows next time we will find 'shortcurt' to New York? :D 

Trip to Sarangan Lake

Whoa! I miss blogging to the moon and back!

Not because I was that busy and not having time to write... Well, I'm just suffering with loss of signal recently. My dearest team mate seccessfully fixed this poor strength signal problem, so here I am, ready to report the things that happened (esp about the holiday things), and be proud to bring you the photos! 

Remember we had one day off on last Thursday? We went to Sarangan Lake that day. Yes, one day trip to one of the famous lake located on East Java! Yeayness! :]

This picture was (not) beautifully taken by me. Not high-skilled in photography. Haha. *sob*

Sarangan Lake (in bahasa, Telaga Sarangan) is a natural lake that lies at the foor of Mount Lawu, southern slope of the mountain to be exactly, in Plaosan district, Magetan regency, East Java. It took two hours more (omagah!!) from Ngrambe, and two victims of its winding road found and diagnosed with travel sickness. I've had taken my dimenhydrinate pill before beginning this long journey, yet still, I felt nausea and heavy dizziness during the killing-two-hours. 

Sarangan Lake is one of Magetan's tourism. Around the lake, there are two-star hotels, motels and cottages.  I thought I'll be able to see the beautiful green pastures that lies beside the lake, and I was totally wrong, there are lots of souvenir shops and food vendors permanently built beside the lake. They sell everything, from the usual tourism shirt (white or black t shirted printed Telaga Sarangan in center of it, capitally) to wooden photo frames (which also the words Sarangan Lake written in its edge), from traditional snacks to various types of vegetables, from sate to mie ayam. *gulp* We had sate (satay) for lunch. But since I had no heart to eat the cute creatures with two long ears, I orderd chicken satay instead of the rabbit one. I just did not have a heart to grill Conny into satay..... :/

Look! 8 out of 10 chicken satay! With extra peanut sauce on it, yum!

I also found Leontopodium alpinum here! The symbol of endless love. :)

The mission won't be complete without renting the boat or horse riding over the lake. We only tried to ride the speed boat and errr...bebek2an (that's the way we called this boat, a floating watercraft designed to look like a duck.... yes, that's bebek2an!) To those who has vertigo or easily get motion sickness or seasick, steering bebek2an is really not recommended. All of us who tried riding this slow speed boat got dizziness right after. About the horse riding... Well, let the prince charming will be the one who rides the (white) horse to pick me up, and me no need to. Ha-ha-ha. 

I did have a great time! One day trip is tiring and exhausting, yet FUN! See you on the next escape! ;)