Because Writing is One of Best Relievers

Life's been so busy these days.... Between shifts, ATLS preparations, case report presentation, and keeping up the good balance of both mental and health balance, you know, is not easy as it seems ;p
How are you dear readers? Like it's been years since my last 'worth to read' post... But I'm glad you stay keeping up with me through this blog. Actually I was on the writer...no, blogger block attack yesterdays, and I have been trying hard to overcome it. Few days ago, surprisingly, two of my juniors (Have I told you that I always accompanied by co-assisstants from UII when working shift?), two cute girls with high curiousity, asked me why I've not been updating my blog for quite long time. They regularly read this blog. That's why I am now sitting in front of here, writing something good to read, something good enough to inspire anyone, as good as I can, hopefully. :)

This year I loved but also I lost, I made mistakes but I also tried to make up for it, yes, this year I learned a lot... I learned that love is temporary, but true love is eternal. I learned that crush will fade pretty fast, that it will not last forever. But love grows, and it gives you comfort and shelter. A nice place to hide from all storms. I learned that love will not cut you off and let you do the missing, waiting, hoping and worrying. The one who loves you dearly will not leave you in the darkness alone. Instead, they will be a good accompany through good times and bad times, no matter if distances pull you apart. The one who loves you will never leave you in any case. Even if there are hundred reasons to give up, they will find one reason to hold on. They will always come back. Like what Kahlil Gibran said, "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were." 

Loving someone even with their worst faults and flaws, forgiving and forgetting their wrong doings.. is hard, but to find the one who's able to do that for you is even harder. I really hope I've found that someone. But if I haven't yet, please help him find me, help him find his way back to me, dear Allah. :)

NB: Because a guy who eats your cooking (even it turns out to be awful one), and who appreciates your gifts and wears it with excitement (even maybe he doesn't like the gifts actually) is difficult to find. :')

"I'll take your bad days with your good,

walk through this storm I would,

I'd do it all because I love you,

I will love you unconditionally.."

Katy Perry - Unconditionally, been on repeat all day. :)

About Counting Stars, Chasing Dreams and Pursuing Happiness

(On blogger's block. I am sorry that I'm trying to overcome it. Wish me luck!)

Overheard Somewhere

Girl 1: "What do you expect from a guy? A faith?"

Girl 2: "...And a future."

When The World Collapses

Be a strong person who's even with tears in their eyes, still manages to say, "I am fine." :)

"So leave it behind,

'Cause we have a night to get away,

So come on and fly with me,

As we make our great escape,

So baby, don't worry,

You are my only,

You won't be lonely,

Even if the sky is falling down..."

Down - by Jay Sean, on beautiful piano version

Norwegian Wood

I want to see you and talk. I want the two of us to begin everything from the beginning. — Norwegian Wood, Haruki Murakami

My fave line recently. :)

What I Learned Today

"I met my senior in this sympo, and to me, he spoke out about his resignation. He was once general surgery resident and I'd always thought he made wrong decision by giving up on the chance that dreamt by every general practitioner; being a resident. Today, I know the reasons behind his big decision and I wholeheartedly respect him for that: his father's been seriously ill and he had to earn money for his family. There was one or two things I learned, to not judge anyone without knowing the whole stories, and to be kind to anyone because... Everyone is fighting their own battles." 

The A Team

I once didn't believe in love at first sight. But when it happened to myself, I started to believe if there's something that even no one could explain about that feeling. I also started to believe that one can fall for another one for several times. Fall for the same person, to see that imperfect person perfectly, all over again... :)

 

And it's too cold outside
For angel to fly...

(The A Team, Ed Sheeran covered by Alex Goot)

Recent Updates

Been awhile since my last post. So readers, how's life been?

I wrote this post while I was working a night shift at emergency room. You must already been cuddling inside your warm blanket at this hour. Sleep heavenly tight then. Please do read this post tomorrow morning. :)

I enjoy my shifts actually, except the part of seeing death and delivering bad news to family of patient. The hardest part is to stay calm when emergency patients come, to stay sympathy when one patient gone, to keep everything fine in line. Learning the art of medicine has never been easy so far, yet when we're able to create beautiful creatures, which means here patients that get better, all your hard work and sleepless night are paid off. Trust me, nothing beats the thankful sayings from patients; the smiles they give after you say "Stay strong Mam, you'll be okay."

Ah iya, we luckily got accompanied by co assistant from UII. I see so much difference between co assistants in Unair and them (yes, the term "Young doctor" is definitely wrong. Colleagues from abroad never use that term for medical residents or co assistants.) 

One day, I knew one of them reading medical physiology book. "I'm re-reading about cell mitosis phases, so I easier can understand how chemotherapy works," he said, when I asked him why he's been so serious focusing on a book. And his answer got me wowed. 

Another time, I got patient with Non Hodgkin Lymphoma referred to our hospital. This patient actually had routinely checked and already got chemotherapy from Soetomo General Hospital (FYI, previous hospital where I worked before), and he referred to our small hospital because he wanted to move back to his hometown, to be near his family. From Soetomo, he brought results of laboratory examinations that not available in Soeroto, and this co assistant, curiously asked me "Why did they examine this? *Pointing out to result of LDH examination*" 

That what makes us different from them. The curiousity levels. :)

Well then I learned a lot from them. Medicine requires long life study that we must not stop at some point. To feel desire for updates, no satisfaction. That's the path we chose living in. May you enjoy yours, dear fellow clinician! :)

NB: About love life? Please skip the questions! 

Picking Up The Break Up Lines

Fourth of July

Guess what day that day was! :)

I got lot of wishes. I'm grateful to be surrounded by good and kindhearted people. :) The day before, I was totally in bad mood because seemed like no one remembered my special day. Even my parents did not say things like "Tomorrow is your birthday!" or asked me "What gift do you want for your birthday?" :p And someone I care the most planned to work a night shift right on July 4th. They really ruined my day!

But at 12 am, that someone knocked the door and surprised me by bringing the birthday cake and candles on it, and it got me speechless. He drove five hours more to see me, to attend my own party. Later I knew that all my roommates got participated in this little surprise. And what got me burst into tears was the fact that he had to go back at 2 am to attend morning report. Surabaya-Ngawi-Surabaya in a day. I'm forever blessed. :")

He brought me Apple pie. He said, this was the only cake that could be assembled up to 4 hours in advance (while driving Surabaya - Ngawi takes 5 hours or more). Even it's not my fave cheese cake, I'll eat them til the last piece. :p 

And the birthday presents! A lovely watch he chose looks good on me. :) Haruki Murakami 1Q84 which I postponed to buy because of its price, :p and cute Pooh band aid I may not use. Too cute!! Thank you will be not enough. :')

Birthday wishes I received today. Not all of them I posted here, I apologize for the ones which couldn't be uploaded. May the same wishes go back to you all.. Thank you very much! :')

Thank you pretty girl, Agit! :)

Thank you berry much for the photo collages you made, dearest Olip! I love you to the moon and back! :)

And another birthday wishes I received from Puskesmas Ngrambe crews. They are all sweet, aren't they? :)

Shocked by the sweet surprise at afternoon. All internship mates (except those who was working shift) came and sang me Happy Birthday. :')

I got Winnie The Pooh (absolutely my fave!!) car accessories and handsanitizer from The Big 5 (minus me). Thank you Novina, Intan, Leo and Ari for the cute presents and also lovely birthday card! :)

Thank you everyone for the kindness you showed me, also birthday wishes you sent me, may all the same good wishes go back to you too. And thank You Allah for grant me the precious moment to remember.. and another year to life. May I bring happiness and joy to surroundings, to make my parents and loved ones proud. :)

Be Proud, Doc :)

Last night, I had sleepless night shift. Amount of patients admitted to emergency room of Puskesmas, causing me and two nurses lacked of sleep. Every thirty minutes or one hour one patient came, asking for the medications. Me, with half eyes opened, tried my best to give the examinations and treatments that able to be given in a small health centre. But this, there was one patients stole my attention a lot. 

He was admitted in the early morning, when the sun began to rise, well about 5 or 6 at the morning. I was finishing the medical record of patients before him, and suddenly he came to emergency room 'carried' by 3 or 4 people, and from the far I saw him unconscious and well... not breathing. I run to him, and asking for the Ambu bag and adrenalin injection to nurses. No radial, brachial and carotic pulse palpated at first, then I finally got the pulse palpated, very weak pulse. I thought that was a DOA (Death on Arrival), and be ready to deliver the bad news to the family. I called the patient's name, trying to examine the conscious state of him. No eye opening. No response to pain stimulus. Until I came to the conclusion he had severe brain injury, he was unable to take a deep breath, gasping for air. I could only give oxygen mask,  and massive fluid infusion, and no mayo provided in health centre. I thought he was in poor yet stable condition until I saw him... Stop breathing.

Fast, I called for the help to assist the Ambu bag, found my way to get the plastic chair closer, climbed up to it and started giving CPR. I aggresively gave the intravenous fluids the due to the very weak carotic pulse. and unmeasured blood pressure. 5 minutes at firts, we got no response from patients. I examined his eyes, myosis at left and midriasis at right one. As long as the both sides didn't show maximum midriasis, I thought we still had a hope, then I continued giving CPR for 15 more. 

And finally I saw him coughing... and I could palpate his radial pulse. Strong enough. He regained ROSC. :)

That indescribable feeling came after. Be proud, doc, you all have the ability to provide the best medical treatments, to save one's life. No need to listen to those harassment and bullying, to those direspectful behaviours people show you about your profession. Go. Your patients need it. :)

How to save a life - Grey's Anatomy casts

One Dream

One of my biggest dream is to wear the same traditional wedding gown my Mom wore 25 years ago on her wedding day. I think every girl has ever dreamed of it. May the beautiful black kebaya fits me on that special day.. Soon, when the prince charming arrives! :')

Shortcut to Bali

Sunny Sunday and we planned to go on a picnic! :D

Candi Cetho (Cetho Temple) had been decided to be our next short trip destination. This temple is located on western slope of Mount Lawu (on the previous post, we visited Sarangan lake, which located on southern slope of the same mountain :D), on the border between central and east Java provinces. One hour needed to get there from our beloved boarding house in Ngrambe. The journey to this temple is challenging and arouses adrenaline,the road went up and downs, but all the anxiety, dizziness, feeling of unwell are paid off with the breaktaking scenery! Green everywhere, you can see the beautiful tea garden on both right and left side, love! <3 p="">

Don't ask for lunch. We again had satay! 

A high gate standing elegantly under the sky brought our memoris to the temple's gates in Bali, the God's island. That's why I named this post "Shortcut to Bali", the atmosphere here simply reminded us to that beautiful island. You must agree with me, no? ;)

In Javanese language, Cetho means clear or pure. As a place to worship the Siva God, this temple is decorated with a phallus statuse statue as a symbol of Siva. Fyi, phallus is statue which has penis look-alike. The main bulding is trapezoid shaped, located on the highest terrace of the land. Until now, this temple is still used by Hindu societies here for a worshiop ritual place. They put ritual sesajen (offerings) on the statue. When we were there being amazed with the scenery, the fog came down from the hills covering the temple area. 

And near the temple, there's a pura up on the hill, named Pura Kalisodo. :D

To sum up today, It was fun! And the trip was totally worth it! 

Looking forward to another trip! Who knows next time we will find 'shortcurt' to New York? :D 

Trip to Sarangan Lake

Whoa! I miss blogging to the moon and back!

Not because I was that busy and not having time to write... Well, I'm just suffering with loss of signal recently. My dearest team mate seccessfully fixed this poor strength signal problem, so here I am, ready to report the things that happened (esp about the holiday things), and be proud to bring you the photos! 

Remember we had one day off on last Thursday? We went to Sarangan Lake that day. Yes, one day trip to one of the famous lake located on East Java! Yeayness! :]

This picture was (not) beautifully taken by me. Not high-skilled in photography. Haha. *sob*

Sarangan Lake (in bahasa, Telaga Sarangan) is a natural lake that lies at the foor of Mount Lawu, southern slope of the mountain to be exactly, in Plaosan district, Magetan regency, East Java. It took two hours more (omagah!!) from Ngrambe, and two victims of its winding road found and diagnosed with travel sickness. I've had taken my dimenhydrinate pill before beginning this long journey, yet still, I felt nausea and heavy dizziness during the killing-two-hours. 

Sarangan Lake is one of Magetan's tourism. Around the lake, there are two-star hotels, motels and cottages.  I thought I'll be able to see the beautiful green pastures that lies beside the lake, and I was totally wrong, there are lots of souvenir shops and food vendors permanently built beside the lake. They sell everything, from the usual tourism shirt (white or black t shirted printed Telaga Sarangan in center of it, capitally) to wooden photo frames (which also the words Sarangan Lake written in its edge), from traditional snacks to various types of vegetables, from sate to mie ayam. *gulp* We had sate (satay) for lunch. But since I had no heart to eat the cute creatures with two long ears, I orderd chicken satay instead of the rabbit one. I just did not have a heart to grill Conny into satay..... :/

Look! 8 out of 10 chicken satay! With extra peanut sauce on it, yum!

I also found Leontopodium alpinum here! The symbol of endless love. :)

The mission won't be complete without renting the boat or horse riding over the lake. We only tried to ride the speed boat and errr...bebek2an (that's the way we called this boat, a floating watercraft designed to look like a duck.... yes, that's bebek2an!) To those who has vertigo or easily get motion sickness or seasick, steering bebek2an is really not recommended. All of us who tried riding this slow speed boat got dizziness right after. About the horse riding... Well, let the prince charming will be the one who rides the (white) horse to pick me up, and me no need to. Ha-ha-ha. 

I did have a great time! One day trip is tiring and exhausting, yet FUN! See you on the next escape! ;)