A Little Hello

A blog has always been a comfort place to come back to, don't you think? :)

My days had been busy lately. I often came back home late, and if I didn't have any homeworks to finish, I always caught myself lying down on my comfy bed. And falling asleep until the next morning. At 4, I woke up, took shower and rushed to hospital. 

I never knew this residency thing bring me a lot of changes. Tired yet exciting at the same time. Meeting new people provides me experiences. There were several times I thought hard, difficult and not easy, but when I've successfully overcame all, I started curved my lips and smile. I learned lots. :)

One day, I was dragging by my senior resident to a patient we took care together. As a observer, I help my senior to do the everyday-basic examination and all the administration things. This patient was diagnosed with Deep Vein Thrombosis and Ca cervix (Cervix cancer) in advanced stadium, with its complications: hypoalbumine, easily bleeding because of warfarin use, peripheral edema. We could say that this case was dubois ad malam. Even it's so, my senior resident tried his best to bring her at her highest state of health she could. At that day, he wanted to me say some farewell words before she discharged. 

"I apologize for any words that might hurt you mam, I wish you speedy recovery," I said formally. I thought I was running out of words, didn't know what to say any other than that.

"I thank you for all your help, dr. Risa," she smiled, "For all your motivational words. I must be strong as you said."

That moment frezeed me. 

I remembered everyday I came to her, telling her over again to eat at least five boiled eggs to increase her albumine levels. Some days, after I knew she was also diagnosed with depression (she lost his husband in accident, if I'm not mistaken), I told her to be strong, because her only daughter needs her. Some other day I grumbled at her because she only ate french fries from (maybe biggest all over world) fast food restaurant, not eating her lunch that already served by hospital. I said, "This food provides all the nutrition you need, so why don't you finish your luuuuunnnnch?" Then she answered me, "This food is tasteless." "I know but.. You have to eat nutritious food no matter what." :/

Everytime I came for her, she complained about discomfort in her stomach. I couldn't tell her that her cancer already spread to liver and caused those discomfort. Later I found out that cancer has already spread to her lungs.

Malam, I know, but I kept telling her to be better soon. 

"I'll see you in your visit to Clinic," I said, trying to put my best smile. It's heartbreaking to say "get well soon" to patients with terminal ill.

"Sure, I will get healthy soon."*

I also got funny questions from patients. 

"Doctor, during the bypass surgery, do they stop my heart, pull it out and repair it?"

"So my heart is filled with amount of fluid. Where do they come from?"

"Can I go home right now? I already feel better than yesterday."

Some questions are annoying sometimes, but I had no other choice than trying to give the best answer with a big smile. *facepalm*

So, this is a little hello from me after years not writing. Promise to come back as soon as I could. :)

Have a great day!