The Celebrations

First of all, Happy New Year!

I'm celebrating the NYE by writing this post. Parents never let me going out until late night, so I stay and whisper little prayers for the year ahead. May all the good things come your way, and may Allah blesses you with love, luck and care. All the best wishes. :)

Haec Olim Meminisse luvabit -One day we'll look back on this and smile. There are so much things I have gained in 2012. Lots. I learned thousand lessons too, made many mistakes and shed a lot of both happy and sad tears.

How has your year of 2012 been? Only one right word to describe mine: Tough. 2012 has had been a tough year. The ups and downs I've been through would perfectly prove the word which I chose. At beginning it (might) seemed hard, but the ending was incredibly awesome! I couldn't be more happier and grateful!

What are 10 things you love about year 2012? That will be hard for me to pick the 10 best things among other best things. Wait, there you go:
1. Passed judicium!
2. Passed UKDI/NACE (National Competence Examination).
3. Inauguration preps. Love!
4. Cooked more complicated dishes. I might not succeed in making it look good, but it's still taste ok. Did I? :D
5. Worked shifts as a doctor, not intern (anymore). And made my own money.
6. No more Ayu Tingting. My hair grows longer.
7. Drove somewhere new alone. Even got lost along the way, I made it.
8. Learned to make myself up. A newbie, yet I wasn't that bad at all. :D
9. Made a new friend, a handsome companion: a suupaaa cute little teddy bear.
10. And I started writing a new story. :)

What were your lowest points this year? Mmm, when went through a heart break? Or to break someones'? To be honest, that is. But I'm more scared of losing the ones I love: amazing fam, greatest friends and sweetest Boyf. :)

What lessons have you learned from those low points? I learned to bounce back after the hard fall. To be stronger and to complain less and to be grateful for everything I have now. To appreciate your loved ones and try not to hurt them. To pray and forgive who have hurt. To keep faith in The Almighty. More love and less hate. Bismillah.

What could you have done better this year? My cooking skills! I'm so proud that I've improved a lot! 

What can you do to ensure you don't repeat the same behaviors in 2013? I'll be more carefull in everything. I'm that type of careless person and don't really pay close attention in any kind of things. I'll change, I promise. Moreover, I have to be well planned. 

What are you most gratedul for in 2012? I'm really thankful for everything Allah gave me. :)

What are your biggest accomplishments last year? That I am finally a medical doctor!

And what your wishes for the year ahead? I wish for everything good. My family to be blessed and stay healthy, my friends to keep the joy around, and my Boyf.... May we go stronger this year. Amin amin ya rabbal alamiiin. :)

Once again, shinnen akemashite omedetou. Kotoshi mo yoroshiku onegaishimasu. :)

Will You Still

Will you still love her...
Even if she's not that type of a girl you're dreaming of?
Will you still love her.. Even if she's not the kind of person you wished she were?

She's not that kinda 'it' girl.
She doesn't spend her money on clothes and make-ups.
She doesn't have a supermodel sized weights.
Her hair is not that type of long, dark and straight one.
She doesn't travel around the world like the girl you're admiring.
She doesn't read heavy and english books.
She's not photogenic. No, she's not.
She doesn't have the good sense of music. She doesn't listen to top 40.
She'd not been born with briliant brain and darn fluently english like she has.
She's really like.... ordinary.


Will you still worship her... Even if she's not perfect?
Will you still love her tomorrow? :)

Acknowledgements

First and foremost I would like to sincerely thank The Almighty, to express my gratitude to Allah Subhana Wa Taaala for providing me the blessings to complete this study. The Most Beneficent Allah, The Most Merciful, for all His guidance dan giving while I was preparing, doing and finishing this 5,5 years of journey. I know without Him, I wouldn't make it this far. Without His help, nothing could have been achieved. :)

I also would like to thank my parents for the belief and confidence they had me. They're the best parents. They allowed me to realize my own potential and all the support they have provided me over the years was the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. Without them, I may never have gotten to where I am today.

Papa, Mama, thank you for putting all the confidence in me, which has inspired me to do things that I never would have thought possible. I love you both! :')

To my little princess Micah, words fail to describe how much I love you. Thank you for (Sometimes... No. Often.) messing up my works, my sleep hours, and my study times. The one and only little sister who has been supportive of me every step of the way, my hard-working papers assistant; who's stopping me when I'm about to make a mistakes, and always pushing me to try even harder to make things perfect.

I am truly grateful to my Boyf, who makes my life complete in every sense. I feel so blessed to have him by my side. I'm incredibly lucky to have you, and your unconditional love and support throughout my life. Thank you for keep telling me not to lose hope even on the lowest point, to always make me believe that even the darkest cloud has a silver lining. I pooh you. Stay close, don't go. :)

I would also like to acknowledge my colleagues: Team Hore: Monica, Reza, Anggi, Bonita and Yuga, thank you for this 5,5 years. You all keep me (in)sane! Angels: Olivia, Emma, Dian, Wina, Sari, Trixie and Elix, for the sweet girls talks. I love you! :) Kelompok belajar UKDI: Zettira, Sofi, Laras, Mbak Mita, Nella and Yayas, they're all the excellent teachers and mentors I've ever had.

I'm overwhelmed in thinking about the many people Allah has placed in life who have made this achievement possible. Thank You once again Allah. Finally I can say, "Maaaaaa, kakak luluuuuuuuuuss!!" :')

I'm so proud of my alma mater, Faculty of Medicine Airlangga University. :)

Give Your Heart A Break

So...I start to write again. How are you dearest readers? :)

I'm enjoying my recent life too much til I couldn't make my time for blogging. Been busy with the judicium, UKDI/NACE preps, lovely love life :p and etc. No time for logging into blogspot eh? I actually had, yet the desire to write didn't come either. So I postponed lots of failed posts, waiting for the right time to get them published after uncountable revision. :p

Last few days, I went out of town. My dad asked me to accompany him during the work trip and promised me little escape from daily routines. I was that excited until I told my Boyf about my trip. I thought everything would be okay. We're only separated for few days, and still can communicate well through the messengers and phone call. I had been through the hardest long distance relationship and I survived, and this time I'm sure I will make it too. 

.....

But in fact, it was not as easy as it seemed. :l

I might be stupidly in love. But the texts and calls.... never been enough. I used to meet him (almost) everyday. Listening to his jokes and laugh have been my daily pills of happiness. He loves the cheek pinch of mine. Now he's 355 miles away. In my spare time, I liked to re-read our silly conv, re-play sweetest voice notes and be keen to scroll up and down on screen seeing his pictures. I miss him!

Whenever I started feeling sad because I miss him, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss. I hope he miss me too the same way I miss him. :)

It's only a starter for the one year long distance relationship. Right, I'll be on remote areas for giving medical sevices. We will be okay, I repeat, we will be okay. Distance never separates two hearts that really care, right? ;)

I found beautiful quotes from Bob Marley, which says:

"You may not be her first or her last. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together, but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

I thank Allah for blessing me with sweetest Boyf, the one that take care of me really well. Have I told you I looooooove you? (Excuse me for being Alay :p. Forgive me for the PDA this time. I'm so dumbly proud and happy for being his gf. :p)

Because a successful relationship requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. :)

"Cause you've been hurt before

I can see it in your eyes

You try to smile it away

Some things, you can't disguise

I don't wanna break your heart,

I can ease the ache

So, let me give your heart a break.."

(Give your heart a break, performed by Lea Michelle and Dean Geyer of Glee)

Quote today!

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you.

Not because they are nice, but because you are! :)

Story of Us

Vino : "Gue gak peduli orang-orang yang mandang sebelah mata hubungan gue sama dia, 

gue gak takut sama orang-orang yang berusaha sekuat tenaga ngancurin gue dan misahin dia.

Tapi yang gue takutin cuma satu..."

Marsha : "Yaitu saat gue ngebuka mata gue di pagi hari, 

dan gue tau dia nggak cinta lagi sama gue."

Marsha Timothy - Vino G. Bastian in Story of Us

First time I saw this video, my eyes got teary. How sweet. :')

Indeed, a relationship should be between two people, not the whole world.

To keep the relationship working, to stay happy all the time in it, and to never let the charm fade away,

It takes two people who deeply in love with each other, to give 100%, to take 100%,

to make their togetherness worthy to keep. :)

Anyway, I'd like to congratulate them for the wedding, may they happily ever after! :)

The Silver Lining

Above all, I'd like to thank Almighty Allah, all praise and gratefulness is due to Allah Subhana Wa Taaala, the One gave me the strength to complete this 'work'. I really thank You for the uncountable blessings. :')

At first I thought I would not make this: to survive a can't-be-measured yard fall. I was that pessimistic. But see me now, I am alive. I did get by. I survived!

When the darkest cloud blinded me by hiding sunshine, I'd known it was trying to tell me not to be weak, to bounce back after I touch the ground, to pick myself up after hitting rock. Failure is painful, but only through the failure we eventually meet with success. It took long and difficult road, but it was the only way out.

I chose to walk and believe in that path then I saw the beautiful silver lining came out between the dark clouds. That was the time I recovered and gained back my ability to see.

A silver lining... that bring me home. :)

Without the darkest cloud, I might be not able to find the lining, or the lining couldn't reach me if the sun and clouds were not playing hide and seek. Clouds may come, but clouds must go. For behind each cloud you know, the sun is shining. To the darkest cloud, thank you for guiding me to the silver lining. :)

I am walking into the lining now. Hope all is well with the journey. It's not always a smooth one, but I am pretty sure I will make it. The success of surviving previous failure gives me confidence that high. There may be some rough patches in between I have to face, but I will try my best. Navigate yourself to success as its destination and when you spend times not knowing which way to go... Follow the light. Walking in to the silver lining. You'll end up arriving at happy ending.

Dear silver lining, just keep shining to lead my way! :)

Only Girl

"I'm gonna make you feel, like you're the only girl in the world,

Like you're the only one that I'll ever love,

Like you're the only one who knows my heart.."

Thank you for accepting me regardless of all my imperfections...
You know noone's perfect until someone falls in love with him/her. :)

Only Girl (In The World) - Boyce Avenue ft. Alex Goot 

Perfect recovered piano version song! 

The Vow: For Better or For Worse

Been a week (or more) since my last writing. I'm glad to be back here, sitting in front of my desk and willing to write something short. :)

To be honest, my life has been curved to be perfect these days. I'm now living in very peaceful place, such quite and comforting place. With a grateful heart, I thank God for the amazing family, sweetest boyfriend and great friends surrounds that make my every single day worth the living. I'm one of the luckiest girl alive.

Looking back to the past realized me how kind Allah is. Truly kindhearted. Hard times He gave to me was simple training, so I could gain my strength and transform into a better, better person. And it worked. He succeeded. There was a lowest point I survived from. A turn out point fulfilled with tears and depression. There's a time when I felt like losing grip and couldn't be able to breathe. It was scary to feel yourself going insane. But Allah is fair. He's never been unfair. For one thing He takes away from you, He'll give you the much better replacement. The wrong picks will lead you to the right place, with the right person in it. :)

Love the one you go to the first for comfort in bad times. At the end, everybody may hurt you. It's okay to be afraid, as long as you don't get lost and you keep your faith. God is kind, you know? Allah is kind. He gives you a partner to help you, so you'll be able to share what you've been going through: when things are going well, also when things aren't going so well. And if anyone hurts you, your partner will strongly protect you, and smilingly say, "Don't worry. Let face it together, both of us. And I'll help you to heal the wound."

The little phrase in the vow means that through good times and bad times, you promise to stay by your partner, no matter what. If you've ever heard the Buddhist wedding vows, you'll come to notice that every word written there is quietly detail, about the companion:

"In the future, happy occasions will come as surely as the morning. Difficult times will come as surely as the night. To say the words 'love and compassion' is easy. But to accept that love and compassion are built upon patience and perseverance is not easy."

Have you found the one who will there for better or for worse? I hope I have had. :)

I love you, to whom it may concern. I pooh you. Unconditionally.

"I promise... to be your faithful partner in good times and in bad, 

and in joy as well as in sorrow.

To support you in your goals, to honor and respect you,

to comfort and encourage you, to stay with you,

through whatever life may bring us." 

For Infinity and Beyond

This is a story of Cinderella nowdays,

who has just survived from this very, very cruel world and still keeps her faith in fairytales. :)

One day, she came re-birth in this bitter world, still in swollen red eyes she tried to see the universe, and she found out that she landed in a place where no one knows her. To her, everything was extremely different with the previous beautiful world she'd been living in. She was afraid to open her eyes at first, she was afraid to be hurt again.

That was a rainy day when she sit down quietly in a noisy ward. No one noticed that there's someone on the corner, getting trapped in somewhere she didn't want to stay. She had been waiting for long hours until he showed up all of sudden, made his way through the crowd and greeted her with his widest smile.  She looked up, wanted to know who was coming. She saw a prince in green, walking closer to her, smiling over the crowd around. His voice was calm (more than) enough to make her feel safe and peaceful. His jokes were hillarious until she couldn't be able to stop laughing. His brown eyes were big, and the look in his eyes, as he stared in to hers, had never left her. At that moment, she knew she fell in love with the prince charming.

This modern prince is that lovable. And smart. And everything good he has. He's a man with lots of unexpected surprises. Everyday that goes by it seems like she discovers something new about him to love.

"He's one (very) responsible person, who places his patients at first. He's fluent in English and he speaks Dutch. He's such a nerdy bookworm that can't leave the textbooks and handouts unread. He scored very good marks. He's knowledgeable in everything. He's a walking dictionary and living Mr. Google. He's photography enthusiast. He bought 1980s made Polaroid camera instead of today's Instax instant camera. An Apple minded. Sometimes sleepy headed."

"He never failed to curve my lips up into a smile without even trying," she said, smiling widely. "He never failed since the first time we met."

"He's the funniest, craziest, yet sweetest man in one packaging."

"The one that always found me through his radar when I'd got lost."

"He never leaves."

"He has been very good companion so far. Even the worst time, he stayed."

She will spent hours to describe him. She's never been out of words.

That time, you can see how her eyes shine brightly when she talks about him. :)

It's amazing, and incredible how one person make such a big difference in your dark life. He didn't need to say a thing to change everything. He englightens in silence. He's the perfect pair.

"Among millions people on earth, there's only one person who will walk into your life and have a longlast stay... And he's the perfect pair. The perfect match."

In life, you need to find a piece of missing puzzle to complete you. One piece that finish the game. One piece which is intended to put together with other pieces in a logical way in order to come up with the desired solution. One piece of happiness that must be difficult to find. And if you've finally found that one missing puzzle piece, be grateful. :)
We might not know what will happen tomorrow... But as long as we keep trying, and not stop fighting, we will find a way. Just don't say, Let's follow the lines, because everything's been written. That doesn't mean you only wait and see where Allah brings you to. You're created to do something, to make changes. Never give up, The Almighty is closer than you think!


"He didn't promise anything he might break. He only wants to prove me that he does something, not only promises. And so far, I can see the efforts he made for me. Afterward, he will be there, with me, at the right place and at the right time. We'll stay through the hard times, and not willing to leave each other. I trust him." :)

Buzz Lightyear: "Whatever happens, at least we'll be together."

Woody: "For infinity and beyond."

NB: Again, I borrowed someone's love story to be written down here. I and she were that close until I know every piece of journey she had been through. Because she deserves happiness... More than happiness. To heal the wounded is not that easy as it seems, you know? :) 

I hope I wrote your story good and as sweet as I could, and not looked like lovebirds in urgently need to get a room. Once again, congratulations! ;)

Becoming a Doctor

I was in the middle of re-reading Haruki Murakami's best seller Norwegian Wood, when my touch screen phone get vibrated, and I read:

We got sudden IUFD (Intra Uterine Fetal Death) here.

I was shocked, but I kept silent. I sent my prayers to baby's mother, still hoped the residents could manage its mess and the baby got survived. Few minutes later, I received,

I sit next to a mother crying over her loss. :( 

I just couldn't be able to imagine how that mother feels. She's been expecting the baby for nine months, and today, she lost her/him with no one knows the baby stopped breathing and beating inside the womb. 

That was not a drama. Not a play, either. It's death and birth, we face every minute as a (soon to be) doctor.

Soon after that, another text came in.

Another patient with shock (hypovolemic, too much blood loss). Wait!

Running in a rush on morning and night shifts at emergency rooms has been daily routines. Emergency patients admitted every minute, causing the doctors, residents and interns lack of sleep. An extreme sleep deprivation. In teaching hospital, they don't get paid. So how the hard works are being paid off?

Me, as a medical student in final year of school (hopefully, amen!), have to serve community without getting paid salary. It makes me wondering why every single thing about medics is so close to money-related discussions. As I have asked on the previous paragraph and if I'm questioned the same thing, how the hard works are being paid off, I'll certainly answer,

Our highest honour comes from appreciation from patients. :)

One day, I worked morning shift on UPI (Unit Perawatan Intensif, Pediatric Intensive Care Unit), suctioning every fifteen minutes a (about) nine year old boy with renal failure. Be honest, it's tiring to look up to him every few minutes, to prevent the asphyxia that can caused airway obstruction (which will lead to death), but I'm not that heartless to see him gargling. Everytime I visited him, his mother, who always stood up beside, always gave me strongest smile, asking about the progress of her son. I only could answer that we would give the best medical services, and please pray for the son to get better.
Few hours after, I found him suddenly stop breathing. I run, calling the pediatric residents. His mom looked shocked and cried hysterically. I heard Allahuakbar (God is the greatest), and ya Allah said many, many times. We performed the cardio-pulmonary resuscitation, few ampuls of adrenaline injected, hoping the little boy coming back. But we failed. He's already gone.
It was a truly heartbreaking scene. After his body's carried out of the room, his parents came to me.
"Thank you for taking care my son, mbak DM, I'm sorry that I'd been annoying to call you every few minutes. I and my husband really thank you. May all your kindness and care come back to you and a thousand fold ya mbak DM."
I tried my best to hold back the tears at that time. A doctor should give empathy, not simpathy. :')

At first year of serving community, first grade of being an intern, I often complained about this profession. I sighed and I regret becoming a doctor. I lost my youth (Hahaha it sounds too much ya? But it's true!), and had to accept that holiday never existed here (the longer holiday, the more shifts await).

But now, Alhamdulillahirobbil alamin, I am thankful for this opportunity becoming a physician. Not everyone in this whooooole world gets this big chance, to provide health care and practice the profession of medicine. I really am. These experiences open my eyes a little wider to as to what really matters. The proverty, the ill-health issues... Problems that a developing country usually faces. Although I'm not going to politics, I understand little that what problems we have to fight. Tell me leaders, have you ever been truly and wholeheartedly thinking about the poor people, to prioritize and respond to the needs of them, esp in health services?

My parents are not medical doctors, and no one in family runs this profession. It grows curiousity in me, and when I asked daddy the reason he wants me to go to medical school, he simply answered,
Doing good makes you feel good. And this job offers greater opportunities than others.
Help people as much as you can, you'll feel better.

I said, doctor is a half social worker. We often work for humanity. I may say too high, but somehow it's true. My teachers at school like story-telling about their experiences volunteering to help after major disasters like tsunami and earthquake. They told us how hard at that time to survive, to help giving best medical cares with limited resources even further. To cope with natural disasters, you will not understand until you take parts in it. You have to be split up with your family for a while to give hands to others who need your help. To be remembered, there must be poor signals in after disaster area, and being not able to communicate with your family for few days is not easy. One another hard work remains. :)

Dating a doctor (even intern) becomes problem too when you give up on their very limited spare time. I also still feel hard doing this. I still hate it when he is being out of reach, standing between patients and giving them cares. The sweetest thing you can do, is to bring him lunch or dinner during the shift. Simplest way to show him that you really care, because most of the times, doctors/interns forget to have their meals because of the hecticness of emergency room/wards: patients that will not stop coming. To anyone who's dating a doctor/intern, esp if you're not physician/soon to be physician, be patient waiting for a date appointment, for a text reply, for a call during shift. They will make time for you, no matter what. It takes none selfish person to handle the life of a medical personnel. They need your support. Show them you care and support their job, no matter how much you hate not seeing them often. :)

All the hard work and all the hard schooling are put into place right now. I sometimes feel like... My senior high school friends have succeed, while I'm still stuck here, in school years that seems not having the edge of end. But listen. Your friends may finish school and graduate much earlier than you, and start making money and receiving income before you. Don't worry. Don't feel inferior, because it's worth in the end!

I've ever read Jenny Rowland's post on here. Beautiful words were written.
"The road to becoming a doctor has been long and hard. There were times I only slept a couple hours.
And yet, as graduation nears, the road has been worth it. When I hear my daughters acknowledge their own future career paths, they often say: “I want to be a princess, a doctor, and a Mom.” And what I love about their response is not that they might follow in my footsteps one day, but rather, that they already know that all roads are possible."

Be proud, docs. You may not cure, but you can help save lifes.
Don't be afraid of medical malpractice as long as you walk in the right paths. :)


Note: I'm amazed by one intern that well prepared for emergency cases. He brings the handscoen, mask, needle and everything in his car. I only have two things I mentioned first. Why needle? "To perform emergency cricothyroidotomy and needle thoracocentesis, just in case patients need it. Our priority is to support life basically, to save patients." I was moved by his sayings. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me to be thankful.

20th!

Started with Marie Regal biscuit...

And glued to by the chocolate ice cream cup. :)

Just Do Not Listen

Gossip kills not.

You can't avoid people talking and mocking about you. You'll never ever ever ever. Gossiping has no end. They enjoy hours spent talking about you and your imperfections. Haters gonna hate. Why do you have to spend time worrying?

When you have to fight against the world, always remember there will be someone who is staying beside you. You have never been alone. :)

Close your ears, not heart. Keep your head up. Smile. Tell the world, "I'm proud of being my self."
And "What others think about me never been my business!" :)

Obgyn Rotation: A Lesson in Witnessing Birth

I actually finished my Obstetric and Gynecology rotation last week... But never been late to post something interesting about the daily activities, right? :)

At first, before I go explaining about what we did here, I'd like to introduce our small group members. I was really grateful to be in the same group with them. We had same vision and mission, we scored same level of pathologic changes. (Hahahaha!) They were easy to deal and discuss with. I really love them!

L to R: Reza, Bobby, me, Dhinta, Ricky, Bagus, Putu

But we were never called with the real names. :p

L to R: Kak Eja, Kak Raisa, Pak Chief, Mamah Dhinta, Papa Ricky, Kak Utup and Cepi

One more member, Mama Melisa, unfortunately couldn't make the photo with us :(

Friends who had finished this rotation always said spending time in this Department was fun. I second that. That two months was really tiring, yet still enjoyable. Witnessing and helping a mom giving birth, also seeing a baby opening their eyes for the first time, you know, that's priceless! :)

Beside the delivery process, we also learned woman's health here. Still today, cervical cancer is the most prevalent cancer that attacks woman. On one night shift, I listened to story of one patient with advanced grade of cervical cancer that receiving chemotherapy. "I only want to live few weeks longer, nak," she said. "So I can go home and celebrate Idul Fitri at home with my family." Soon you'll be home, mam. Be strong lil bit more, will you please? :')

And I really like to visit patients and listen to their stories. After finishing their stories, they always sent me good prayers:

"Semoga jadi dokter yang sukses ya nak... Ibu doakan cepet lulus, lancar sekolah dan jodohnya. Juga selalu ingat sama orang miskin seperti Ibu."

(May you be a successful doctor... I'll pray for you to graduate soon, your co-assistant programs go smooth, and be closer to your life partner. And always remember the poor like me.") This simple thing pays off every hard work! :)

L to R: Pandu, Iti, Bobby, Iji, Dani, me, Windra, Jemmy, Eja, Syahrir, Popo, Zia, Mul, Shinta

I am really thankful for having groupmates like them. Bach of 2007 and 2008 that mixing well together into one small group. I'm actually having difficulties in getting involved with new people. But that noon, I remembered the first time I met one of them, as night shift partner, and he came late. 

"Maaf ya mbak aku telat.... Aku tersesat dan tak tahu arah jalan pulang.." 

("I am sorry for being late... I got lost and couldn't find the way back home." It's a line from Butiran Debu. Hahaha. Since that, he, and they always left me laughing out loud!) :)

At last, I wish Cepi, Dhinta, Ricky and Utup to succeed their upcoming Obgyn OSCE exams.

And bach 2007, me, Eja, Bobby and Melisa also passed the exams!

I thank Obgyn department for the greatest experiences. And congratulations to all mummies who gave births in a safe and sound way. To all cancer patients, be strong and tough, because Allah never puts us through anything that we can't handle. :)

"To witness the birth of a child is our best opportunity to experience the meaning of the world miracle." 

-Paul Carvel

She is

These last days, many people, friends I mean, have asked me about my latest post on blog. They'd  thought that 'she' written below was me, then they asked me whether I was okay. I giggled. I have explained on its post that it's not about me I wrote. But five people or more gave me free pukpuk to lift my spirit up. I'm out of words somehow. :')

She's (trying to be) okay, she's alright now because she feels... loved. :)

To Let Go and Move On

Holding on is being brave, 
but letting go and moving on is often what makes us stronger. (Ano)

Truly true. She once thought that she wouldn't give up on something she could go a day without thinking about... She promised to herself that she will fight for it no matter what. She wanted all over the world to know her, struggling against everything, to get it back. 

Those were hardest days. She tried to fake a smile. Every line she sent always ended with ":)" or "<=-p" (on one of famous messenger) which actually not. It should be like these: ":(", ":'(", or emotionally ">:O". She's been tired of pretending. It (ridiculously) hurt. It shed lots of bitter tears. It was not easy. It had never been. :)

She's been patient long enough. Harder than he knows. Not to be appreciated, been rejected... She smiled. What else he has to do to punish her? 

But she is now fully awake. Finally. :)

If he wants to leave, just let him go. Don't cry over his "departure", but smile for every memory he had left. Never believe in any reason, because if he loves her, he will make an effort to stay. :)

She can see clearly that he didn't do anything to change the situation, he didn't try at all, he even cheated on her. (!!) If he means it, she knows he will take a little step. But in fact, he didn't. She might have reached the limit of patience. Been enough to be treated like this. Been lowering her pride (A girl should be chased, not chasing!) only to make him feel her presence.

After all, she concludes that he's not worth waiting. :)

She has to let go. She doesn't want to drown in this sea of sadness. It's beyond pathetic and it wastes time. She has to move forward. She really would not like to wait for a guy who didn't make any try. It is not about letting everything flow. Your life has been written by the Almighty... But if you really want something, you will fight for it, true? You will struggle to, right? You don't keep sitting there and waiting for everything happens as it flow. Who's with me? :)

This post might be only an expression of disappointment. A deep, deep disappointment. 

I emotionally wrote this, so if this hurts anybody's feeling, I really want to apologize from the deepest part of my heart. Really, I didn't mean to. Life is about forgiving, isn't it? :)

If happy ever after did exist, I would still be holding you like this.... No, Mr. Levine, a happy ending does exist. If it's not ended happily, you've still not reached the ending yet. I am the one to blame if your fairytale doesn't have happy ending. ;)



Ikhlas? Insya Allah. :)

........

Dear you, she loves you like no other. :)

It will always be like that. Always.

NB: Inspired by someone's love story that's really not simple. A relationship is not only about to love, but also to forgive and forget. I dedicate this post to all broken hearted girls. You better let go and move on! Because there's someone somewhere out there waiting for you to come! Be brave and be strong! :)

By the way, I'd found this when I wanted to examine fetal heart beat of one patient this morning. 

I curiously asked a mummy-soon-to-be, "Are you fan of this football club, Mam?"

Then she answered with a smile, "Not me. My husband is."

"He lends me his phone, which has been added with songs of Mozart that I can listen to everytime (to stimulate baby's brain development). He also said that he put this sticker to remind me of him (he's a big fan of AC Milan), so I will always remember him as he is beside me right now."

:')

Sweetness

Friend : Hey.. Are you okay?

Me : Do I look not okay?

Friend : Because your lipgloss, lipstick whatsoever.. just can not hide how pale you are.

I thank God for everyone in my life. :)

I won't

"And when you're needing your space

To do some navigating

I'll be here patiently waiting

To see what you find

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily

I'm here to stay

And make the difference that I can make

I won't give up on us

God knows I'm tough enough

We've got a lot to learn

God knows we're worth it

I won't give up on us

Even if the skies get rough

I'm giving you all my love

I'm still looking up

I won't give up.."

Jason Mraz - I won't give up

HOREPAD

Tim Hore just had a superb-fun photoshoot on rooftop of GDC (Gedung Diagnostic Centre), RSU Dr. Soetomo Surabaya... Actually this place is where an air ambulance lands in a.k.a Helipad!

That's why I tittled this post HOREPAD: Hore at Helipad. Enjoy!

We also had chance to take photos with exchange students. Glad we made a cute picture together. :)

Among the great photos... The winner of best photo goes to..... *drumrolls*

:)

All Time Fave

Adrian Martadinata - Kuingin Kau Tahu

Time to move another step forward! Yooooooooosh!

Thank you!

Last July 4th, I celebrated my birthday. Thank you my bestfriends for taking part in celebrating! :)

So after one sleepless night (hahaha silly galauness!!), accompanied by my dear Olivia through the phone,

I came to school with uncomfortable and painful swollen eyes, fighting heavy drowsiness.

Been trying to reduce these puffy eyes by cold compress! It helped yet some of groupmates somehow realized it and said: "Today is yours. Go enjoy it!"

Hahaha, of course I will, mate! Thank you for reminding me! :')

That day, on may way to Department's Office, they suddenly came out and surprised me bringing this cake.

 

This little surprise made my day! :) :)

From them I got this cute teddy bear! Can't thank you enough! :)

As feedback to little surprise, I asked them for lunch! I really miss Hore's quality time!

And went to karaoke session!

As I grow older, I learned lots in my life. I gained many advices. I also made uncountable mistakes.

But these are all I need to grow up, to be more mature.

I smiled, I laughed, I cried and I enjoyed every pieces.

I analyzed and I concluded everything from my point of view.

I thank Allah for ones who have became and who will always be part of my life.

They helped me to reach a step closer to the top, (I might be only on half way point of my life now!),

so I really want to use my birthday wishes for their health, prosperity and everlasting happiness,

to everyone who has helped me go further on my path,

to everyone who has been a reason for me to smile and to cry.

I owe you a priceless lesson. :)

Thank you everyone for the most remember-able and memorable birthday gift.

Thank you for the birthday wishes also! :)

What To Do

Head up, Wipe Tears Away, Smile, Stay Strong and Be Unbeatable. :)

Chasing The Idol

Today morning, I and my best buddy Sari, went chasing a famous ophtalmologist to Majapahit Hotel.

It turned out to be an extraordinary Saturday morning. :)

Knowing that the doctor, dr. Ferdiriva Hamzah, Sp.M, coming to town attending Meeting of Indonesian Opthalmologist Association, I bravely tweeted him:

Doc, if you still stay in Surabaya, would you mind if I ask for you signing my books? Thank you :D

And he replieeeed! So this is how my (one of) fave writer chasing journey begins. :)

We were waiting for him sitting in the hotel lobby and observing around, to look for a man who has the similarity to dr. Ferdiriva by analyzing his twitter display picture. Hahaha!

Doc, please, you should change your display picture with self portrait, taken with the front facing camera,

so your fans will easily recognize you! ;D

Oiya, dr. Ferdiriva is very humble and extremely friendly! He even greeted us first! :)

Try reading his books! :)

 

He signed my books, and wrote this also:

"Dear Titis, Semoga Cepat Jadi Dokter yang Sukses!"

(Dear Titis, be a successful doctor very soon!)

Thank you dr. Riva and Sari, for saving my gloomy weekend. :)

The Broken Wood

"You're wasting your life being involved with me."
"I'm not wasting anything."
"But I might never recover. Will you wait for me forever? Can you wait 10 years, 20 years?"
"You're letting yourself be scared by too many things," I said, "The dark, bad dreams, the power of the dead. You have to forget them. I'm sure you'll get well if you do."
"If I can," said Naoko, shaking her head.
"If you can get out of this place, will you live with me?" I asked.
"Then I can protect you from the dark and from bad dreams. Then you'd have me instead of Reiko to hold you when things go difficult." Naoko pressed still more firmly against me.
"That would be wonderful," she said.

 -  Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood


This is my most fave part of Norwegian Wood written by Haruki Murakami. Simply sweet. :)
You feel great by having someone who'll stand next to you and hold your hands tight, saying everything's going to be alright in the end... But when you have no one, will you be able to stand up by your own, wipe all your tears away, and hold your own hand to make it feel like you're not alone?

You will be able to, no, you have to be able to. You are strong. :') 

Breathe - Original song by Taylor Swift ft. Colbie Caillat; Covered awesomely by Boyce Avenue

Our Video!

I am really sorry for the inconvenience.
I don't know why it's being cut off on the right side. Anyone can help? :(
Or you can watch this video here :)

The Pulorejos Went On A Very Short Vacation

Glad to be back! Just like what I've promised you, I'll post some photos from our very short vacation. During our stay in Jombang, we were often stressed out because of our jobs. We really would like to have fun, but still want our jobs get finished. And to refresh and clear our mind, we went for much places that provided pleasures, to balance work and play. (Actually we went for cullinary trip! Hahaha!) :D

1. Waduk Selorejo, Ngantang, Malang (Selorejo Dam, District of Ngantang, Malang Regency)


Selorejo Dam is one of the dams which located in the area of East Java. This dam is surrounded by hills and Anjasmoro mountains, makes dam itself look more beautiful. Along the way to the Selorejo Dam, you'll be amazed by fascinating natural scenary. Although you have to walked up and down the streets to r each here, it'll be worth it!

Ah we also ride the boat. One of the priceless experiences! :D

 

 

Enjoy the delicious local food! Fried wader (Is it right if I say "tilapia fish"?), mujair, tombro and shrimp with Indonesian chilli sauce (known as sambal) will be ready to fill in your empty tummy. You should try and you'll find your self craving it again and again!  

                                       

2. Tivoli Restaurant, Jombang Regency

A famous restaurant on KH. Wachid Hasyim street... This restaurant was recommended by everyone who's finished Community Medicine program. I give 7 for place, 6 for (famous) ice cream, and 6 for main course. Not bad, but also not that good indeed! One thing that made me dissapointed most is service's that really slow. :( But still, I recommend you to visit here and have some lunch!

                                      

3. Penyetan Nggudo, Jombang Regency

Javanese fried chicken covered by javanese chilli sauce. :D

 

3. Cuban Rondo Waterfall, Malang Regency
  

Cuban (or it's Coban?) Rondo waterfall is a beautiful waterfall on the slope of Panderman Mount resort    that's about 32 km west from Malang. We went here after we'd visited Selorejo Dam just before. This tourism object's located in the middle of the forest yet still easy to be reached. The air here is cool and fresh! Very recommended to help your body and mind feel refreshed. :D

4. Batu Night Spectaculer, Batu, Malang Regency

BNS is one of the preferred place of recreation you've to visit during your Community Medicine program. Located in the city of Malang, it took about 2 hours from Pulorejo, Jombang. This place is only opened at night, and I'll suggest you not to go on weekends because it'll be full of people there and it makes the visit not enjoyable! :p

There are a variety of exciting rides that you can try. But I only went for lampion garden, because I really dislike atrtraction that needs the adrenaline rush. Hehehe. 

Went for vacation to escape the hectic days? Why not? ;)

Work hard for a certain time, but make sure your play is proportional to that of which you work.

And thank you to The Pulorejos for the great time we've spent together! Will miss you a lot!